Agape is a very misunderstood word when put to practice, as well as very difficult to actually do, especially when you would prefer to do just the opposite. Let me explain:
One day, I had a coupon for a free haircut at a new place (normally $16), but decided instead to visit the place where I’d gotten it cut a previous time in order to promote a business relationship (also, their price is only $12).
One of the blessings that the Lord has placed upon me is that wherever I go, it doesn’t matter when or where, soon after entering, at least 3 people, or 3 sets of people, will enter, soon after me – it rarely fails, too. My reason for mentioning this is because when I entered the hair cutting place, there was only 1 other person in line. Soon after sitting down, 2 other guys walked in, and after my haircut had begun, a family (dad and 2 boys) joined in the line. There were only 3 ladies working, and one was about to leave after the one she was on. So it was getting busy and there wasn’t any more help (one of the women had mentioned this).
By the time it was my turn, the woman was feeling really pressured to hurry. She asked me questions that I’d understood she was supposed to know the answer to, and seemed to be taking offense when I didn’t know how to answer them, like, what number of buzzer clippers height should she use…heck if I know…she’s the professional…3? 4? 5? At the time, I didn’t even know what the numbers meant (it wasn’t until over 10 years later that I even learned there are half numbers!). She explained that I should know these things because it’s a walk-in salon, not like the other professional kinds. I said that I didn’t know there was a difference. As she hurried to cut my hair, thoughts going through my mind were: “well, I just won’t tip her,” and “maybe afterward, I’ll just take that coupon and have the other place fix it for free.” When I mentioned that I wanted it shorter, she argued that I should know when I come in what I want (like blueprints, or a picture or something) because she has a long line of people that she still needs to get to. So, not in the mood to be bullied, especially after Tuesday, the personality of my mother came out in me and I suggested, “you know, maybe I should come back another day when you’re not so busy…I can wear a hat until then.” At this she replied, “it’s not the busyness…you don’t understand.”
At that moment, it could have turned really bad, but instead, she actually began to put in the quality of her work. She’d ask questions, I’d ask for her professional opinion, she’d answer, I’d often agree, and we began getting along. I backed off from any smart remarks and let her do her work. At this moment, I was remembering something I’d read from the book, “The Bait of Satan”: There are 2 types of love talked about in the Bible, and I’m sure we’ve all heard about them…Phileo and Agape. Phileo is where we get part of the word “Philadelphia”, but it’s a conditional love. It’s an “I’ll scratch your back as long as you scratch mine, but if you stop then I will also-kind of love.” But Agape love, on the other hand, is unconditional. It’s the one that God showed (and continues to show) us, and it’s what we, as God’s people, are commanded to show others, also. And so God reminded me that I needed to show her this kind of love. The love that says, “I’ll still give her a tip, regardless of how she treats me,” and that this could be a place for ministry. In the same way that Jesus said a doctor is not needed for the healthy but for the sick, God’s love is needed more in a place where ones don’t experience or express it (so much?), not where it’s rampant. And as one called into ministry, every place I go needs to be a field of missions, through both word, and attitude.
By the time she was done, I had a nicer haircut than the last time it was cut, and afterwards, a discussion of understanding that led to reconciliation.
Please Leave a Reply