How Can I Prevent Myself From Falling In Love Again?

Hey Andy, how can I prevent myself from falling in love again?

Hi, you know, most people I’ve come across seem to look at love and think that it’s some uncontrollable emotion that runs their lives and can’t be prevented from feeling. The thing is, you CAN actually choose who you love and don’t love. For instance, say you’re married and somebody comes along who’s interested in you, or an old crush who’s now currently available. you can choose not to fall into love with that person by setting boundaries on your heart and mind.

Prevention with Healthy Boundaries

As for the other person you’re asking about, I would suggest you attempt to put boundaries on your heart and mind. Choose what type of person you’re going to fall in love with, and decide that you won’t stray from that standard. I guess you could say you’re setting up a type, and one of the requirements for that type should be that the one likes you back equally to how you like them. If they don’t, then decide you won’t allow yourself to fall into love with them (again?).

I Once Dated A Woman On

For instance, I once dated a woman on and off for 5 years. In the end, she didn’t want to move forward in it (marriage), but I couldn’t deal with the emotional rollercoaster anymore, so I gave her a choice:

1. Move forward with me and I’ll go to where she was (she was attending school in another country), or
2. Break up. But if we break up, then this has to be “good-bye”. We can’t communicate with each other ever again, no getting back together, nothing – ultimate good-bye.

She Chose #2

She chose #2, so we said good-bye.

Later (a little less than a year later), I met the perfect woman for me who would soon become my wife. We’ve been married now for just over 10 years.

You Have Higher Standards

So you see, it’s important to avoid that person that you struggle with. If you have to, convince yourself that you don’t like/love them because of the things you don’t like about them. You’re better than that, and you have higher standards (respect yourself). Anything less is simply not worth your time and effort.

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